(954) 951-2929
reception@cwcsf.com

The CWCSF Blog

Five Qualities Needed in Rebuilding Trust after Infidelity

Five Qualities Needed in Rebuilding Trust after Infidelity

By: Staci Lee Schnell, M.S., C.S., LMFT

Rebuilding Trust after Infidelity @ CWCSF

Rebuilding the trust lost in a marriage after one’s spouse has been unfaithful is hard work and can be very challenging. Trust can be rebuilt and the relationship can be even stronger, if you take time and have patience. A highly trained Marriage Therapist can facilitate the work needed after such a significant breach of trust.

Trust is an important part of a healthy relationship.  Without trust in oneself and one’s partner, you can never be truly certain that your relationship is true and authentic. Trust allows you to be able to have the deepest level of confidence in your spouse and their feelings for you.

Trust in the marital relationship is about feeling safe, secure and committed with another person. Relationships need to be built on implicit trust for them to be successful.  When infidelity occurs, trust is greatly eroded.  It takes significant time and effort to reestablish the sense of safety and security needed for the marriage to thrive and be a solid partnership again. 

In order to regain trust, one must show their understanding of their partner’s feelings and the unfaithful spouse must prove true regret. Showing willingness to change is a start in earning back a spouse’s trust. Proving one is serious, honest, reliable, and safe to love again is the goal.  Rebuilding the trust in a marriage means rebuilding the credibility with one’s spouse. Some ways to begin to rebuild trust include being humble, kind, affectionate, appreciative, loyal, and loving.

The following five qualities are essential in rebuilding trust after infidelity. 

 

Sincerity

Being sincere in the apology is important, as well as in the acceptance of the apology.  Sincerity is said to be a mix of seriousness and honesty. Being open and transparent in your communication with your spouse helps rebuild the lost trust. If communication is sincere, trust will occur.  Showing sincerity shows one is being serious, kind, and truthful.

Consistence

Consistence shows a harmonious agreement within a relationship. Being consistent can imply a positive sense of dependability. If one shows consistency, they are showing their partner that they are dependable and trustworthy again.  Building trust doesn’t happen quickly. It takes consistency for someone to believe it is safe to trust again.

Integrity

Integrity is regarded as honesty and truthfulness.  Having integrity shows one’s partner that they are doing the right thing in a reliable way and adhering to the moral and ethical principles to which they are committed.  Don’t keep secrets or sugar coat things from one another. Have open and honest conversations with integrity in order to rebuild trust.

Reliability

Reliability shows the quality of being dependable and trustworthy. Partners must know that they can count on and rely on one another. Demonstrating a pattern of dependable behavior over time increases and rebuilds trust.

Commitment

An act of commitment to rebuilding trust binds a couple intellectually and emotionally. Commitment shows the dedication each has in the act of repairing the relationship.  The couple needs to be committed to the improvement of their marriage and be patient in the process.

Together, a couple should set specific goals utilizing the essential five qualities discussed above for getting their marriage back on the trust track. Talking openly about these goals and checking-in regularly to make sure the relationship is back on the correct path is fundamental. Communicate regularly, to establish you are on the same page about the expectations of your marriage.  This will help renew the commitment needed to rebuild the trust broken from infidelity. 

Find a Marriage and Family Therapist that specializes in affair recovery to assist you on the path to healin

Our Scars Tell the Story

Our Scars Tell the Story By: Michael Bouciquot, M.S.   The Japanese have a form of art known as Kintsugi. This entails a piece of broken pottery being repaired with either gold or silver. The gold or silver is placed in the cracks of the broken pottery and in some cases whole pieces are replaced… Continue Reading

Men Don’t Win-Part 1

Men Don’t Win Part 1: I’m a Father not a Babysitter By: Michael Bouciquot, MS Little coughs came out of my son’s mouth as his head rested on my shoulder and his arms wrapped loosely around my neck. He and I sat in the waiting room of the doctor’s office hoping to hear his name… Continue Reading

Why Online Infidelity is So Common   

Why Online Infidelity is So Common        By: Caela Cohen, M.S.Ed. Online infidelity, online affairs, cyber infidelity, cyber-affairs, internet affairs, even social media cheating. These are some of the many terms given to the act of being unfaithful to your partner by engaging in either emotional or sexual involvement with someone over social media sites,… Continue Reading

Marriage is the Number One Priority

Marriage is the Number One Priority By: Staci Lee Schnell, M.S., C.S., LMFT Marriage is the Number One Priority Couples marry for love, typically.  They’ve found their soulmates and are ready to spend the rest of their lives living happily ever after.  In the beginning of their union, they make their marriage a priority.  However,… Continue Reading

Weathering the Storm Together

Weathering the Storm Together By: Staci Lee Schnell, M.S.,C.S., LMFT     Weathering the Storm Together These are extremely difficult times in so many lives, as Texas recovers from Hurricane Harvey and Florida recovers from Hurricane Irma.  We are concerned for loved ones in Mexico, Puerto Rico, Cuba, and many others in the Caribbean as… Continue Reading